Certainly many have made the observation that something special seems to be happening and existing in the father-daughter relationship. A father has a huge influence on his daughter, since he also carries the role of mentor in her life. It represents to her what it means to be a man, what to expect, what to want and what to ask of them (eg respect, appreciation). It can enrich her life and help her to feel self-respect and gain self-esteem.
Because he is the first male she will meet, their relationship also plays a decisive role in the type of relationships she will develop in the future with potential mates. If there is a strong/genuine relationship between them, (she is the beautiful princess but also the smart, independent daughter), it enables her to reject those who are violent, aggressive and do not treat her as an equal. If on the other hand their relationship was cold/violent/unbalanced, and he treated her badly when she was a child, then this affects her self-esteem and self-esteem, and she expects everyone to treat her like that. Maybe the saying: ‘When a girl grows up her dad marries’ is true after all.
It is not easy for a father to understand his daughter. Many times she might feel like they come from different planets since she doesn’t understand why she behaves like that, or what goes through her mind. Having been raised as a boy, he has no idea what it’s like to be a girl. Many times he feels that he is not doing anything right, and although there have been other females in his life (mother, aunts, colleagues, sisters, etc.), the daughter can influence him in such an intense way, very different from what he had experienced until now.
What can I do;
• Find time to talk to your daughter. Try to get to know her, find out how she thinks, how she feels about various issues.
• Make her know you care. Spend time with her regularly. Get involved in her activities (eg offer to go to the movies and then for ice cream as she likes).
• Share your interests, hobbies, and show her how important it is to you to spend time with her.
• Find time for fun! Don’t forget that children like to play, especially if they are with their parents. Many times we forget what it’s like to be a child and use our imagination. Let her decide your activities and follow her in the game.
There is no such thing as the ‘perfect’ dad. But you can be a ‘good enough’ dad in your daughter’s eyes, and that’s enough.
At Counselling Kenya, our team of dedicated mental health specialists use tried and tested methods that address the root cause relationship and mental health issues. To make an appointment with one of our licensed therapists, call 0741123944