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We're so glad that you are here on this page today. It means you really care about your relationship and you're ready to do something about the growing distance between you.
-Do you want to communicate, trust, and feel close to each other again?
-Do you feel lost about how to bring happiness back to your relationship?
-Maybe you haven't felt happy in a long time and you are looking into getting help?
-Have you been to counselling before and it didn't work?
-Maybe you've never done this before but you know if you don't do something soon you're relationship may not make it...or you could be miserable for the rest of your lives?
-Do you get stuck in horrible arguments? Or do you avoid conflict like the plague so you don't start a fight?
-Does it hurt you to see your children caught in the middle of mommy and daddy's arguments?
-Maybe you don't feel like you can trust each other for whatever reason.
-Has the intimacy in your relationship disappeared?
The last thing you want is to try something and just revert back to the same old negative cycle that you had before you started.
You want it to work, right? That's why you pay us money and we devote all of our time to you. Because you want this to solve your relationship concerns.
We know that the research surrounding our methods show that 90% of the couples maintain their improvement even 3 years after they finish.
So our couples get better and STAY better.
Have you considered marriage counseling? The counselling community is kind of like the medical community but also quite different.
Doctors go to medical school. Therapists go to therapy school. Doctors pick a specialty. Therapists typically do not. Doctors must have specialized training before they cut you open, right? It's their legal duty....Therapists can cut you open emotionally with no real experience.
Well in the counselling community there are two extremes. Relationship coaches are not required to have any training, education, or license...so anyone can call themselves a coach.
Then there are professional counsellors like us who have degrees, supervision, continuing education, licenses, and we're governed by the state.
But what the state says is "if you don't FEEL like you can help them, then you should refer them out"...but counselors are wonderful people who want to help. They also need clients so they see everything.
The average counselor is unfocused. They see kids, teenager, families, 10 different individual issues and then they stick two people in a room and call it "couples counseling". They apply the same methods to couples as they do with every other issue.
That's why we focus on just helping couples. Therapists are jack of all trades. They're not able to get the training necessary to really help couples succeed long term.
Our clients love to recommend us to others. You see a difference very early on. If you follow our plan for you, you will increase your success exponentially.
We have successfully helped thousands of couples. Do you want to communicate with your spouse in a way that feels like they really get you? Do you want to trust each other with the deepest part of your heart so you can relax again? Do you want to feel close emotionally and physically? Do you want to feel deeply madly in love with each other again?
If you answered "yes" to any of those questions then you're in luck! We can help you.
Nancy is one of the most compassionate, kind and thorough people I have ever met. She is professional and personable. Her passion for supporting people through life's many challenges makes you feel safe, seen and heard. This was evident to me from the first time we met. I wholeheartedly recommend her services to anyone
ISH - Google review
Every couple encounters negative cycles. Our spouse feels like a mystery. What are they really thinking? Love feels like an elusive mystery...how can we get it AND keep it?
Good news! We remove the mystery of it all.
Now, get what you've hoped for your relationship and your family.
Negative cycles left alone kills intimacy. Negative cycles cause us to hurt each other.
You might fight or argue about little things or you might not fight at all, you might avoid conflict like the plague, but you may not really feel close. Many people feel that they're always walking on egg shells and not wanting to cause a rift in the relationship...but every once in a while we hit a nerve and trigger a huge negative cycle.
Sometimes if this cycle goes on for too long we look outside of the marriage for the support we need. We begin to feel like roommates with our spouse and many people hear things like "I love you, but I'm not in love with you anymore".
Does this sound like you guys? You are certainly not alone!
Of course couples counseling with the right help is a great way to heal your relationship. The research shows that 75-80% of couples need about 15-20 hours with the methods we use. Some couples need less time and others need more. The length of time depends on a number of factors including:
> 1. How you respond to treatment
> 2. How open to the process you are
> 3. If there has been major trauma in the relationship or in your past then you may need more time
> 4. It is important to come consistently to counseling. This means ideally you come every week. We have a few options available if you travel or something prevents you from being able to come every week...we'll share more in a minute...You're learning new things and when couples skip a week they typically re-escalate and fall back into old habits. Many times this can be discouraging and may seem like counseling isn't working but truly it's because you skipped a week. So come consistently every week until you're therapist says you've graduated.
> 5. The length of the sessions are really important. Most therapist try to use the same methods for couples that they use for individuals or others. The standard 45-60 minutes is not enough time. It's rushed and more damaging than helpful. That's why our appointments are 2-6 hours. Now if every once in a while you can only do 1 hour...it's better to do 1 hour than it is to skip.
You are not alone in the busyness. Couples from all over the world visit with us on the phone and in person.
We refuse to compromise on quality. While others claim to have a solution they only have a portion of what truly helps couples long term. They say "improved communication" is the key or "conflict resolution" is the ticket to success.
Not only are they unfocused but their methods are not backed by scientific research. They simply THINK it will work but in truth there is no proof of success.
Because of our focus and the methods we us, we have helped thousands of couples successfully turn around situations that have seemed impossible to everyone but us.
We know what success looks like and we can show you how to be that rogue couple that refuses to simply exist in your relationship. We provide unique advice for each couple that comes into our offices. What we provide is based on mountains of research and hundreds of hours of training. But there are a few common truths that you will find here,
1. We are pro-marriage. This means we will not recommend separation because we believe that if you are coming here you'd like to explore saving your relationship. We know that not every couple decides to stay together. But that is not our decision to make. The only time we recommend separation is when someone's life is in danger.
2. We do professional counselling. While many pastors and churches refer their parishioners to us, we leave the sermons to the pastors and the pastors leave the couples counseling to us. We will never give you weird advice or advice that contradicts your faith in any way.
3. We provide materials and resources for you. Some materials are books you can purchase and some are things we just create in house and provide to you as a part of your time with us. Everything you need can be found in your sessions here with us. So the outside materials really only act as supplements to counseling.
It boils down to our couples get better AND stay better. That is why you come for help, right? It only makes sense. It makes sense that you would expect your couples counselor to provide you with the tools that will last.
Unfortunately, the tools are only as good as the therapist is at using them. If you think about it, if the therapist can't use the methods that work then how can they help you learn to use them?
All I am trying to say is, not all therapists have the same training and not all therapists are able to help with your relationship issues. That is important to consider.
Researcher, Dr. John Gottman found that the average couple waits six years before seeking help for marriage problems. Combine this with the fact that 50% of all marriages don’t last eight years and you can see that getting help as soon as marriage problems arise is important.
While it is very difficult to know exactly how long you will need with 100% certainty...we do know the research shows that 75-80% need 15-20 hours to make significant improvement. Sometimes young pre-marital couples need only 10 hours...but as they get to living life as a married couple they discover new challenges that may require a little more time in counseling.
You are invited and encouraged to come in by yourself to discuss how you can improve your relationship. While it may sound odd, we have been able to improve relationship by working with one partner. You see, marriage (or any relationship for that matter) is a system. We have found that by helping one person learn to understand their mate and communicate more effectively, the system changes.
This often means that the partner who is not in couples counselling changes in response. It is kind of funny when you think about it. You’ve tried so hard to make the other person hear you and change their behavior – which hasn’t really worked out so well. But when you spend time learning how to be happier in your relationship, you just might find your relationship improves – without you trying so hard.
So yes! If your spouse won’t join you in couples counselling, consider making an appointment and seeing if we can help you to be happier in your relationship.
Please don’t wait until the distance between you has grown too great. Consider couples therapy today. Because you deserve love. And we want to help you have a more healthy, fulfilling, and loving relationship.