Premarital Counselling in Mombasa

One out of every two marriages end in divorce –
no matter how deeply in love people are on their wedding day.

You know what is scary? The failure rate is not only 50% is for first marriages, but 67% for second marriages and 74% for third marriages.
No one expects it to happen to them. But you know what is great? Premarital Counselling can reduce the divorce rate by 30%!

Often premarital counselling is overlooked or overshadowed by wedding plans.

And while wedding planning is very exciting, it is crucial to make sure you and your partner are on the same page with your core beliefs – and have ways of navigating the inevitable differences.

You certainly will not agree on everything – in fact, your differences are a lot of what brought you together. But knowing how to discuss the tender issues in ways that bring you closer is what makes the difference between a so-so marriage and a great marriage.

Premarital Counselling  and Newlywed Counselling Can Help With:

  • Resolving old hurts, misunderstandings, and betrayals
  • Preparing for the inevitable stressors (inlaws, finances, work-life balance)

Questions about Premarital Counselling

We only have a few weeks before the wedding – should we begin premarital counseling?

Yes! You can begin premarital counselling and then continue as a married couple. The purpose is to help you understand common marital struggles and have the tools to manage them and become closer.

How long does premarital counselling take?

Couples usually meet with their therapist for 6 to 12 sessions although some meet for additional sessions to ensure a stronger connection and improve their relationship skills. After all, it is easy to talk about happy things but when things get difficult, you want the skills to be able to get through those times easily. It is better to learn the skills while things are still happy. Difficult times hit all families and knowing what to do when they hit is wonderful and powerful

Does premarital counselling work?

Studies have shown that a few weeks of premarital counselling can reduce the divorce rate by 30%. This seems like a great investment! Of course, as with all therapy, there are no guarantees. If you have a solid relationship, why not set yourself up for more happiness and to “beat the odds?”

At Counselling Kenya, we offer two types of Premarital Counselling – traditional couples counselling with relationship skills building as well as The FOCCUS© Inventory Premarital Counselling. FOCCUS© is a 5-step process designed to help engaged couples appreciate their unique relationship, learn more about themselves, and discuss topics important to their lifelong marriage. Each partner fills out a FOCCUS© Inventory (questionnaire) which results in a FOCCUS© Couple Report. This report shows patterns of strengths and areas that need couples’ attention. A trained FOCCUS Facilitator counselor guides the couples’ discussion based on their FOCCUS© Couple Report.

How does newlywed counselling work?

If you are recently married, you might have noticed that misunderstandings and miscommunications are more frequent than you expected. Let our trained counsellors help you resolve any old issues and help you with the skills to manage conflict and be on the same page about your life together. We want to help you build a happy partnership.

Do we need to have issues to attend premarital counselling?

Gosh no! Premarital counselling is designed to help you identify your strengths as a couple and to identify future (possible) areas of difference. And as noted, to help you with the relationship skills to navigate difficult times. Think of it as skills-building for the future.

What if premarital counselling brings up issues that might break us up?

This is a widespread concern. However, for most couples, premarital counselling brings couples closer rather than farther apart. And it is normal to be a bit nervous because of the depth of commitment you are making – and the usual jitters that come up with it. In a few cases, premarital counseling can reveal larger issues that need to be addressed before both parties feel comfortable moving forward. While this is certainly not the norm, it can happen, and processing them with a therapist can help bring clarity and resolution.

What do you charge for premarital counselling or newlywed counseling?

Our team of highly trained, seasoned marriage and family therapists have been carefully chosen to help you. And we will be direct here – if you want low-cost counselling, we are not your option. Our rates are between 8,000/= per session. A session is 2 hours long - though longer or shorter sessions can be organized.

How do we choose an excellent premarital therapist?

Most therapists have been trained and are experienced with individual therapy. But sadly,  many psychotherapists who perform Couples’ Therapy have not been trained to do so. We have found through experience and research that the most effective couples’ therapy combines skill-building with feedback and insight on communication patterns and processes and often includes regular homework assignments. You do not need a couple’s therapist to listen to the fight of the week and act as a referee. These types of sessions do not teach you how to be better partners and are not likely to produce any long-lasting changes in relationship patterns.

So when you’re choosing a couples’ therapist, be sure to ask them how active and directive they are in their sessions. Finally, you should also ask your therapist how many couples’ or marriage counselling sessions they do every month. If it’s less than 5-10, they are doing couples’ therapy as a minor sidelight, not as the main thrust of their practice and they may not be as experienced in working with this modality.

Rest assured, the counselors at Counselling Kenya have advanced training in working with couples. Each counsellor has a full caseload of at least 50 to 75% of couples. You will be in good hands with us.