November 10

First Time Dad

Family

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I wonder how differently an expectant mom and dad experience the arrival of their first child. It’s scary and stressful, and definitely a life-changing experience. It definitely takes some time for them to get used to the idea.. Sacrifices must be made, and the program must be adapted around the child.  

Both must share this responsibility of parenting. Maybe women are closer to reality and what’s next because of all the psychological and physical changes they go through themselves. A relationship will quickly form between the two, so special that only the ‘mom to be’ can explain.  

However, it does not mean that the ‘dad to be’ stays out of this relationship and experiences. It may have an active role. There are many things he can do for his pregnant wife, as well as for his relationship with his child. And of course he can also be connected to the fetus.

What can I do; (during pregnancy)

•One of the most important things you can do for your pregnant wife is to support her and help her understand that this pregnancy means to you what it means to her.

• As inexperienced as you are in how to be a parent, so is she, that’s why you have to support her (if she hurts, complains, has phobias and anxiety), and go through this experience of pregnancy together.

•Make her feel that you appreciate her and think of her:

– Accompany her to doctor’s appointments. 

-Take her for a walk in the car, or keep her company if she wants to walk in the park.

-Spend some time talking or singing to your newborn child, and together with your wife.  

What do I do next? (the first months)

• Don’t be surprised if your wife has irrational fears, cries, and her mood is generally up and down. Be patient and understanding. She is going through many hormonal changes and will definitely need your support.

• Just because she is the one who gave birth, does not mean she has more knowledge or experience in caring for and caring for the baby. You also try to understand, for example, why she is crying and what she might need, and not at the first difficulty assign it to her.

• After giving birth, your wife will be sore all over. He will need your help with everything.  

• As often as you can, compliment her on her figure, how she has made a difference and is down to her old weight. Help her feel like a woman again.

 • Do not hesitate to ask for help from friends, relatives. You will be very tired, sleepless, and still have a thousand things to do at home for the baby.  

  • Don’t forget that the way you feel, so does your wife. You don’t have to go through it alone. You are in this together. Share your fears and anxieties and stand by each other.

At Counselling Kenya, our team of dedicated mental health specialists use tried and tested methods that address the root cause of mental health issues. To make an appointment with one of our licensed therapists, call 0741123944

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