Positive management of anger
Anger is a natural and human emotion. There is no one who has not been angry at least once in his life. It is not bad to be angry, sometimes it is completely justified.
The problem is when we overreact and behave in a way that is not justified by the situation, and thereby “entitle” others to judge us negatively.
There are cases where, due to frustration or for other reasons, we lose our ability to see situations in their proper dimension. In these cases we are not in a position to judge what is justified.
So we see ourselves doing things which, at the time, we think are justified, but later – when true judgment returns – we are horrified by what we did.
What matters is how we manage our anger. To take control of our actions, which stem from him.
Symptoms of Anger
• Increased heart rate
• Increased blood pressure
• Increased body temperature
• Increased breathing rate
• Muscle tension
Not managing anger issues in the long term is harmful. If anger is the dominant emotion in one’s life, then this will have significant implications for one’s relationships, professionally and personally, and for one’s organization itself.
What makes us angry?
It is important to know what makes us angry: we can either avoid these circumstances (if possible!) or explore how we would prefer to respond to them when they occur.
There are three main categories of circumstances that make us angry: those that annoy us (e.g. the way someone eats, the neighbors), those that cost us (e.g. the broken vase, time in traffic), and violations (when someone breaks our internal rules, e.g. “you do not transfer to third parties what I entrusted to you”).
Why isn’t everyone bothered by the same things?
Because of our beliefs. We have developed these beliefs over many years.
It is a result of our upbringing (what we were told when we were young), experience and observation.
– How others are, how the world is, how I see myself
– How people should behave, how they learn “a lesson”, what is important in life
– How others will perceive a certain situation, what is right or wrong
Beliefs may be right or wrong, but they nevertheless influence the behavior of the person who holds them.
The most frequent thoughts that lead to angry outbursts are:
This is unfair
He is wronging me
He has no right
What can I do;
• Suppression Suppressing
your anger is not the answer. When it is not expressed outwardly it can be turned inward, on yourself. This will lead you to other problems such as depression, high blood pressure, etc., or make you “passive aggressive”. That is, wanting to “revenge” the person who made you angry without saying why, by being hostile, cynical or belittling the other person in front of third parties.
One can improve one’s skills in expressing one’s opinion, thoughts, and feelings in a non-aggressive manner that shows respect for oneself and others. By being assertive (somewhere between the passive and aggressive type), one shows respect for the other’s wants as well as one’s own. With the right training and reference to the steps to follow, clients improve their communication and learn new ways of expressing themselves.
• Change in way of thinking
Cognitive behavioral therapy assesses the way we interpret the world, identifies dysfunctional beliefs and the conditions that trigger them, and tries to install a new, more functional way of thinking. It explains the “thinking mistakes” we make when we get angry and lose our temper and helps to see the situation and evaluate it from a different perspective. Finally, through various questions the person can develop more helpful beliefs (e.g. “how would you prefer to think?”, “if a friend were in your position, what would you say to him?”)
• Alternative reactions
At the same time, alternative ways of reacting to stressful situations are being sought. This individual psychotherapy aims for the person to deal with these feelings of anger, and not to act impulsively, that is, to be able to stop and “analyze” – to think about their anger. In other words, the cases where he had reacted badly are reviewed, he recognizes how he would have preferred to have reacted, and in his imagination he promotes this through special exercises with the help of his therapist (imagery exercises).
Anger has several physical symptoms, so it is good that one learns to control these internal reactions. Various relaxation exercises are shown, and there is an emphasis on deep breathing and connecting it to a less negative/irrational mind.
One last thing:
-Accept that you will have difficulties
-Each obstacle tells you something about yourself and the difficulties you face in that particular situation
-There are experts who can guide you and support you if you can’t do it on your own
Are you ready to overcome your anger? Reach out for a free consultation and start anger counselling today. Call 0741123944 Now for more information